Etoile du Matin
by Leilani972
Summary: Breaking Dawn revised. Jacob didn't imprint on Renesmee. Devastated after Bella's 'death',he left La Push as he planned to. On his quest to forget Bella, he'll find in Leah the friend he needed. Will they finally find the happiness they deserve?
1. prologue

**A/N:** Here is another translation of one of my French fictions. sentinel10 did an amazing job - as always, she's truly a wonderful Beta reader - and I can't thank her enough for her patience and her kindness.  
>I hope you guys will like this fic. The chapters will all be in Jacob's point of view, and here is the prologue! Enjoy!<p>

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><p>Seated on the edge of the cliff, I looked towards the moonlight. It seems cold - too cold. Much like the reflection of what my <em>life<em> had become after her death and the reflection of what _she_ had become since that fateful day.

I was devastated the day she gave birth to Renesmee. Living the last moments of Bella's life like a human-being literally destroyed me. I was broken almost as much as - no, I wasn't living anymore.

Bella had everything I loved in a girl. At least, everything I thought I loved. Time passing by and devoted friends tended to show someone things that didn't always seem obvious but which were, nevertheless. She wasn't made for me. It took me a lot of time and getting my ass kicked finally made me realize it.

Bella Swan-Cullen and I weren't meant to be together.

The moon faded and I smiled when I saw the Morning Star. I couldn't count how many times we argued about this star, but every time I saw it, I thought of her. She always annoyed me when she'd tell me that people were wrong because it wasn't a star but a planet, and she couldn't stand when I'd say that as long as it was _shining_, it _was_ a star. She'd reply that she didn't care because even though it might be shining, it didn't sparkle for long, so it didn't particularly matter to her. The Morning Star was announcing the dawn and a new day, hopefully happier than those we had behind us.

I got up slowly and dusted off my shorts, smiling at the idea that in a few hours, I'd finally meet her in her home, with her mother who wasn't really happy to see me hanging out with her daughter, given the history we had together. But I didn't care.

My cellphone vibrated in my pocket and I perked up. I'd decided to spend most of my savings to buy a cell so that she'd be able to call me whenever she wanted. It was definitely not easy to carry it as a wolf, but I got used to it, for her.

I looked at the message she sent me, smiling all over again.

_I'm up. The Morning Star made me think of you. Do you see it, now? Happy days in perspective, don't you think?_

For her, the Morning Star was a symbol of hope. And for me, it was her. _Just_ her.

She'd become my Morning Star, the one that let me dream of a brighter future. She had brought me to life when I was at my worst, and I was sincerely hoping to do the same for her one day, if it wasn't already the case.

I replied to her message immediately before phasing.

_Yes, I'd bet on it. I'm coming._


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Thanks a lot for reading my story! This one means a lot to me!  
>The first chapter begins in Breaking Dawn timeline, just after Bella's 'death'.<br>For those who have not read the book or who may not remember, I'll do a quick summary.  
>Bella became pregnant with Edward's spawn on Isle Esme and Jacob left Sam's pack to protect her. Seth and Leah Clearwater had followed him, creating the Renegade pack (The best of all, in my opinion...). Jacob spent most of his time with Bella, enjoying her last moment as a human. He hated the Cullen's more than ever and Bella's child as well, since it was killing her. So Bella was with Jacob when her water broke (or rather her blood). He remained at her side throughout her labor, until her heart stopped beating. Devastated, he only had one thing in his mind then : kill the little monster who killed his Bella.<p>

The italicized text is a from the book . The rest is out of my little head!  
>A huge 'Thank you' to the wonderful sentinel10 for helping me in my translations. English is beautiful, but so hard! LOL.<p>

Anyway, enjoy your reading!

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><p><em>Only a second had passed as I made these easy decisions.<em>

_The trembling was getting tighter and faster. I coiled myself, preparing to spring at the blond vampire and rip the murderous thing from her arms with my teeth._

_Rosalie cooed at the creature again, setting the empty metal bottle-thing aside and lifting the creature into the air to nuzzle her face against its cheek._

_Perfect. The new position was perfect for my strike. I leaned forward and felt the heat begin to change me while the pull toward the killer grew – it was stronger than I'd ever felt it before, so strong it reminded me of an Alpha's command, like it would crush me if I didn't obey._

_This time I wanted to obey._

_The murderer stared past Rosalie's shoulder at me, its gaze more focused than any newborn creature's gaze should be._

_Warm brown eyes, the colour of milk chocolate – the exact same colour that Bella's had been._

_My shaking jerked to a stop._

When I was ready to lunge at the baby, a grunt from the door made me hesitate.

"Jake, _don't_!"

I was hit hard by a huge mass and found myself pinned to the ground. As Blondie hastened to flee with the little monster, my rage flared and I got immediately to my feet.

"What's _wrong_ with you?" I roared, glaring at the obstacle facing me.

"With all due respect, you will_ not _lay a finger on her, Jacob. I won't let you."

I had never heard him so serious about something before. I looked at him, completely shocked and startled when my eyes met his. He was glaring back at me, his body trembling and his jaw tightened. He was ready to attack me.

"Why?" I insisted.

"I won't let you kill her."

"Goddammit, Seth! Tell me why you-"

At this point, all the pieces fell into place. Why his affection for the Cullen family had been so strong, his offered friendship with Edward, his need to defend Bella and her unborn child, the desire to join me when I separated from Sam's pack. He was undoubtedly attracted to them because of _it_. Before it had even been spawned.

Renesmee.

Rage shifted to confusion and then undoubtedly to horror.

"Your sister is going to kill me-"

...

"You did what?" Leah snarled, trembling with rage.

Seth took a few steps back, probably scared that his sister might rip him apart. "It's not my fault!" he protested. "I didn't know this was going to happen. But it not that bad that I've finally imprinted, right?"

"Not so bad? _Not so bad_? You imprinted on a mutant Leech, Seth!" She exclaimed, horrified and gritting her teeth ready to tear something to pieces.

"Don't talk about Renesmee like that." Seth growled. "She isn't a mutant. She's half human-"

"And half a bloodsucker! I 'd rather see you imprint on a squirrel."

I barked a laugh at Leah's comment, but stopped quickly when the Clearwater siblings shot me a look. "Leah's right, Seth. Your little monster is a murderer, nothing more."

I shook my head to forget the horrific images of the agony of the woman I loved, who would became my natural enemy because of the tiny little beast that had grown inside of her.

"This is bullshit!" The boy rebelled. "You are such a hypocrite! You knew that Bella wanted be turned into one of them, no matter what. Renesmee is my imprint. Deal with it."

"It's your fault, Black!" Leah spat, furious. "You should have listened to Sam! Now here we are, with a leech in the family, and - to think that my brother will become Bella Swan's son-in-law."

We both shuddered, but not for the same reasons. She was disgusted to see her brother connected to the girl she hated most in the world while I was realizing that I'd lost her for good.

Leah sketched a few steps toward the forest. "I can't believe this shit. Imprinting on a leech is - not healthy. I'm out of here."

"Leah, don't be like that, please," Seth panicked.

"I was staying until Swan's death. Now it's done. I'll go back to camp, pack my stuff and leave this foul smelling place once and for all. Work it out yourself with your mini leech, bro'. I have my yoga class waiting for me."

"But Sam could still attack -" Seth whined.

"He won't do anything," I retorted.

"How can you be so sure?" the kid insisted.

"If you tell him that you imprinted on the Monster, he won't attack. Tribe Law-"

"You see?" Leah cried triumphantly. "Your _friends_ aren't in any danger now, so -"

She didn't finish her sentence and ran beside us as Edward Cullen stormed outside the house in a fury.

"You!" he shouted. "What have you done to my daughter?"

Leah and Seth threw me worried glances but I'd never been so calm in my life. Once Edward read my mind and saw what I intended to do the little monster who killed my Bella, he would probably end me. In fact, that's what I was hoping. Since the purpose of my life – keeping Bella alive and making her change her mind about us – became a dream impossible to achieve, I expected nothing from it. Worse, I wanted to die.

I wanted to be rid of the horrible images of her death still swirling in my mind, ones that would torment me for the rest of my life. I wanted to avoid having her newly red eyes scanning me with disdain, because she would have finally gotten what she'd always wanted since she had met that bloodsucker. I didn't want to hunt her down when she attacked her first human and kill her _again_, because I had to be realistic. I'd killed her by letting her carry her unhealthy pregnancy to an end. I contributed to her death and her rebirth into a creature - similar to what stood before me. My life had no meaning.

My Bella was dead, and I had died with her.

'_I know you read my mind, Cullen. See what I've become because of you, and look at what I wanted to do to your daughter._' I thought loudly to make sure he heard every single word.

Edward raised an eyebrow and a hiss of irritation came from his throat when I let the images that I wanted to impose on his mind run out. "Seth imprinted on your daughter. If he hadn't done that – your – _girl_ - would no longer be alive. You should really thank him for that." I spat.

A rumbling sound erupted and Edward turned his attention to the kid. His gaze, blackened with anger - or thirst, who knows - flashed to Seth who had been his friend a few hours ago. Unless the was lying about that too.

"I won't kill you, Jacob. Bella would not want that."

"How sweet of you, what a kind soul you are. Oh, sorry, I forgot – you don't have one," Leah quipped.

"What you think of me does not interest me, Leah. You are no longer welcome in our home, any of you." Edward snapped.

His reaction didn't surprise me at all. I didn't intend to a set foot in this house that would always be a reminder of what I'd lost and what he had gained at my expense.

"Edward, please, don't do this- " Seth pleaded. "Let me - I have to see Renesmee."

"How practical. Now that you don't need lap dogs anymore, you throw us away. So predictable, and so distinguished. _That's_ your friend and future father-in-law for you, Seth." Leah snorted.

It was one of the few things that I liked about her. I realized that on some points, our opinions were similar. Both times she spoke, she had said exactly what I intended to say to Edward, like she was reading my mind. I began to wonder if she didn't regret telling me that she would have helped Bella keep the Thing if she had asked her. But Seth's despair broke my heart. If he'd actually imprinted on the kid, I knew he couldn't stay away from her, and it would kill him if Edward prevented him from seeing her. We had enough of two lost souls in the pack – if I could still call it that – and to add Seth in the same category as us would just be a tragedy.

"Seth _saved_ your daughter by stopping me from ripping it to shreds. You owe him her life, so let him see -"I swallowed and saved the words 'monster', 'spawn' or 'assassin' for another time. " - his imprint".

"I do _not_ owe him anything. Our daughter is still a child, and I –"

"Just read his mind and you will see he doesn't see Nessie as a possible partner," I cut him off. "He needs to be with her. Or else, Sam will continue to create a tirade problems for you if you prevent Seth from being near with his imprint."

"Nessie?" Edward frowned.

"Renesmee is too long, and frankly boring," I scoffed.

"Nice nickname for a monster," Leah chuckled.

Seth struck his sister in the shoulder with a grunt.

"She's _not_ a monster. She is special and unique, that's all," he protested.

"See? He even defended her against _us_, of all people. All the more reasons to let him see her," I pleaded, though I was unwilling to leave him alone at the leeches' nest for fear of coming back to nothing but a throw rug made of wolf.

Edward thought about it for a moment, sighed and then nodded. "Fine. Seth will visit Renesmee as much as he wants. But you two –"

"No freaking way I let my brother in your house, alone and unprotected. If he's coming, I am too," Leah roared.

"It is non negotiable, Leah," Edward argued back.

"Did I forget to tell you that the imprint is also affected when she isn't with her soul mate?" I taunted him.

Edward growled with exasperation and I grinned, pleased with myself for having shut him down. "Don't worry. I won't come. I will leave as soon as possible after talking to Sam, and I won't come back," I added.

Leah stared at me with an expression I couldn't decipher before recovering and having Edward smile at me. "Perfect. Then you are allowed to come, Leah. But at the slightest misstep –"

"There won't be, I swear!" Seth exclaimed, overjoyed. Leah will be good, right Lee?"

"As much as possible. I have no choice, either way," she muttered nervously, stepping from one foot to the other.

"Can I see her, like - now?" The kid asked.

Edward hesitated but finally nodded before turning on his heel and entering the villa. Seth followed him closely, but Leah was still outside, looking at me.

"So that's it. You're leaving." she murmured.

"I guess so," I replied carelessly.

"When?"

"Tonight, I think. I mean - There's no reason for me to stay any longer, now that –"

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Jacob."

I had no desire to have this discussion with her. All I wanted at that moment was to run away from the mansion, to phase and run as far as possible from Forks, from the Cullen's and from _Bella. _Leah seemed to understand because she didn't push me.

"I hope to see you before you leave."

"We'll see," I sighed and rubbed a hand over my face, tired after the morning from hell.

"Yeah -"

"Go look after your brother."

"Good luck with Sam."

"I'm not afraid of him. He will throw a fit, but there's nothing he can do about that."

"You're right. If I don't see you before - Take care of yourself"

"Sure, you too."

She eventually walked into the house and it didn't take me long to phase and finally unleashed my pain. I headed straight to La Push, my heart in pieces, mulling over the images and death - of the love of my life.


End file.
